I’m pissed. I got a tattoo last night and it meant a lot to me. I already had a flower on my forearm that I got two years ago as a reminder that anxiety will one day not run my life. That there are people who love me and I will make it through each day that is thrown at me. And since then I have met the love of my love, fell in love with his family, adopted a puppy, and were getting married in four months. My anxiety is still a daily issue but it’s easier to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have so much more support from my new little family. I wanted to add more flowers to the original because of my “growing happiness”.
And now why I’m pissed. I asked my artist to follow the style and pattern to the original because it has a unique look to it and I wanted it to blend in. The original flower doesn’t have any shading. I told my artist exactly what I wanted and that I trusted her. She filled all the surrounding flowers, bow holding them together, and background in with shading. My original flower that I absolutely love now looks like an eyesore in the middle of a shaded mess. Because of the shading you can’t tell what is flower and what is back ground. There’s like 8 flowers and 2 stems. One stem is coming out of the loop of the bow and they’re suppose to be together bc it’s a bouquet. Lines don’t meet up where they’re suppose to, likes over lap, lines aren’t straight. There’s a few places that you look at and thing “where the hell is that line even coming from”. It’s this huge mess that takes up my whole fore arm and it’s suppose to make me happy. I’m praying that the shading backs off when it heals. Is 12 hours after we finished and it’s still swollen and red everywhere. I’m so pissed. It’s not what I wanted. This was suppose to represent my growing hope that one day I’ll wake up without that pain in my chest and the constant painful thoughts in my head. And now I have this black mess on my arm and am filled with regret. So here’s to hoping a miracle happens when it starts to heal.
